The Grammar of Happiness
Learning a new language requires a great amount of effort. One of the fundamental principles in acquiring fluency is understanding the grammatical structure of that language.
Grammar is a set of rules that explain how words are used in a language. Once we understand what those rules are, we are then able to communicate freely without having to pause and think about the construction of words.
If language requires us to follow certain rules in order to communicate effectively, does doing certain things correctly in life ensure happiness?
A good start would be understanding exactly what happiness is? Something we human beings aren’t very good at doing.
Why do we suffer from this constant need of pursuing things with the thought that they will make us happy, but end up leading us to even more despair.
One of the reasons for this is that unlike animals we are the only creatures that think about the future and place expectations on it.
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The greatest achievement of the human brain is the ability to image objects or scenarios that do not exist in reality.
Our ability to make predictions about the future sets us apart from animals but also creates a lot of pain and anguish in our lives.
So the big question is what is happiness? How do we obtain it? and why is it so difficult to find it?
The average human being is lucky if he/she can live up to 100 years. This is a relatively short amount of time, considering we spend a quarter of that time in a posture of dependency.
One of the common threads which connects all beings, regardless of their race or religion is that they all deliberately seek out happiness.
The tricky thing about happiness, which leaves us dazed and confused while clutching at straws, is that it’s difficult to obtain directly.
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True happiness is a byproduct of doing things which unexpectedly make us happy. A lot of the times we stumble on it, it’s difficult to extract true happiness immediately.
Social networks, alcohol, drugs and sex are stimulants with a low return of happiness. Like chewing bubble gum, they quickly lose their flavour and the desire for more is created.
However, dedicating a few years studying a language might bring us immediate pain and frustration but the long term effects of happiness are immeasurable.
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With consistent effort and hard work something magical starts to happen. We start to internalise those difficult grammar structures we spent hours studying. We start doing without thinking as we flourish and we are able to have meaningful conversations with people which ultimately makes us happy.
I think happiness has fundamental principles like grammar which are essential in obtaining it. One of them is living in the present and appreciating what we have.
One of the things we can learn from Primitive cultures from all over the world is their ability to live in the present. Our inability to focus on the present moment causes us to miss the opportunity of cultivating an attitude receptive to receiving happiness.
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It baffles me how as kids we spend over a decade of our lives in school learning about the dates of irrelevant events and a glut of information with no relation to the most important subject in life, happiness.
I think this lack of understanding of happiness is the reason we spend our lives chasing material objects, working jobs we despise so we can buy things that we don’t need.
I’m sure you can recall a situation whereby you told yourself that obtaining something whether it was a new car or the latest high-tech gadget on the market would make you happy. Only to find yourself chasing something else right after obtaining it.
Compared to our prehistoric ancestors we are spoilt with abundance. The conclusion would be that we are obviously happier. But we lack the simple trait of paying attention.
We can eat anything we want by simply picking up a phone and ordering it. However, we sit in front of the tv not paying attention to the taste and how this food makes us feel.
We are able to travel to exotic locations all over the world only to play with our smartphones instead of really experiencing the holiday.
Our choices are unlimited, but useless because we have lost the ability to live in the present and pay attention.
Since we have identified that the key to living a happier life lies in being present in the moment. Why can’t we just be present? Why can’t we just stop thinking about the future so much?
The answer is that we find great amounts of pleasure doing this. Projecting a future whereby we are millionaires, sitting by the beach sipping on cocktails without any worries.
However history has a way of reminding us that even if we obtain those millions. Boredom would quickly creep in and we would find ourselves depressed on why we are not Billionaires.
